‘Thanks,” “Toda” or even “Thank you very much” are as common place in our public thoroughfare as cell-phones and Waze. And yet, while the phrase is said when acceptable and warranted ad-hoc, how many of us actually feel a deep sense of gratitude to someone else? How many will actually initiate a walk over to the waiter at the end of a meal and express gratitude, let alone thank our employers for paying us on time each month, or even go out of our way to write an email to someone that did us a favor of any size or extent?

Rabbi J.B Solovetchik [i.e.- the RAV] famously said¹ that while the Jewish people, enslaved & tortured for hundreds of years where packing their bags to leave Egypt, following the long awaited “visa” to go, Moshe was busy with something else- looking and eventually finding the bones of Yosef, who has made the Jews vow to take his remains to the promised land when they eventually left [Shemot 13/19, see also Tractate Sota 13a.] Finding something so ancient and unknown was quite the task. And yet, Moshe was willing to risk the entire long-awaited exodus…for bones? Explains the Rav that, as the Jewish people take their first steps as free-people, is to develop the sense of GRATITUDE. Yosef, after all, was the one that sustained the Jewish people during the famous 7-year famine, insured their safety during his lifetime, and the very least his progeny could have done was to say “thank you” by not forgetting his remains in Egypt.

Therefore, the Rav ² on the anniversary of these momentous occasion on the Seder night/nights, we don’t just describe what happened in Egypt from the book of Exodus, but rather say a passage from the book of Devarim, said by a farmer years late [rather than the first-person account in the former,] as the latter includes one element missing in the former-gratitude, which must be part of re-telling the story of emerging from Servitude to Freedom on Pesach night [see Rambam, Book of Mitzvot, Positive commandment # 157.] If Moshe was willing to risk leaving Egypt just to express gratitude to Yosef, who never directly even benefitted him, it’s is more than appropriate that on this exalted evening, we must include gratitude into our story.

Judaism has attempted to train those adhering to its teachings to always insure the proper הכרת הטוב/Recognition of Gratitude;

• The korban toda, the thanksgiving sacrifice that was brought in the Temple to thank G-d for being rescued from a dangerous situation, today commemorated by saying the birkat hagomel, which we are obligated to recite in certain situations ( Code of Jewish Law, OC 219:1.) Indeed, says the Mishna Berura [ibid 4] it’s very language, stating that G-d bestows goodness on those that are “חייבים”/obligated [i.e.- failed to do something] connotes that we usually do fail in expressing gratitude

• Almost each day, we say the short Mizmor LeToda passage, thanking G-d for everything I really don’t know about, as well as end our silent Amida with 3 blessing of הודאה/thanksgiving, starting with the words; מודים אנחנו לך/We thank you.

• Moshe was told NOT to hit the waters of the Nile, even for the explicit purpose of bringing the plagues so desperately needed, as the Nile saved him way back when, and this was not a way to show gratitude (Shemot Raba, Parshat Va’e’ra, 10/4 and 7.)
• We must clean the tables from bread crumbs, showing gratitude to the food we just ate, prior to washing the table (Code, OC, 180/3.)

The danger in not showing gratitude is also so germane and pronounced in Judaism: A new “Pharaoh” easily “forgot” all the Yosef did for the Egyptian economy [Shemot 1/8] and naturally eventually forgot the very G-d that put the wisdom into Yosef to do the above [ibid 5/1-2.] In the words of the sages:

היום “אשר לא ידע את יוסף,” למחר הוא עתיד לומר “לא ידעתי את ה'”.(שמות רבה, פרשת שמות פרשה א )

Today, he “didn’t know Yosef” and tomorrow, he is destined to say “I don’t know the Lord.” (Shemot Raba, Shemot 1/8.)
Indeed Our sages criticize Chizkiyahu, a righteous king [which was rare in his time[ for not thanking G-d after being saved from the hand of Sancheriv, who encircled Jerusalem in preparation for a war…that never happened (Tractate Sanhedrin 94a).

• We must develop this sense of gratitude for everything, as Rabbi Dessler so beautifully says ;

• הנותן ירגיש בלבבו אשר לא יחפוץ במתנות-חנם, כי שאיפתו היא רק ליתן, … ועל כן, כאשר יגיע אליו דבר מאת רעהו, יתעורר בו הרצון לשלם עבורו, ואם לא יוכל לעשות זאת, לבו ירגיש בחובת התשלומין – וזו היא אשר נקרא לה בשם “הודאה.” אבל הנוטל ישאוף תדיר למשוך אליו את כל אשר יוכל, …ובקרב לבו יחשוב כי הכל שלו הוא, ובשבילו. על כן, בהגיעו דבר טוב, אשר הטיב עמו חבירו, לא ירגיש בחיוב תשלומין כלל. הוא אשר נכנהו: “כפוי טובה”…(“מכתב מאליהו”, חלק א’, קונטרס החסד, פרק י”א, עמודים 47 – 46).
The “giver” will feel in his/her heart that he/she doesn’t want anything for free, his/her entire aspiration is only to give…and therefore, when one gets something from another person, he/she would naturally want to pay for it. But if he/she can’t, his heart will still feel the need to pay, and this is called “Thanksgiving!” But the “taker” will always aspire to take everything he/she can…and in his/her heart, he/she will feel everything is his/hers and for him/her. And therefore, when something good comes his/her way, that one’s fellow bestowed upon him/her, he/she won’t feel the need to pay at all. This is what we would call the typical ingrate! (Michtav MeEliyahu, Kuntras HaChesed, 11/pp 46-47.)

Therefore, it’s no wonder that our sages state that 1 of the reasons the ENTIRE world was created was for the following:

• “בראשית ברא אלהים”…. בזכות…חלה, ובזכות מעשרות, ובזכות בכורים, (בראשית רבה, פרשת בראשית, פרשה א/ד)

• “In the Beginning G-d created”…. because of the “Challa” portion [taken from dough before baking it,] and because of the first-fruits. (Beresheit Raba, Parsha of Beresheit, 1/4.)

Based on the above, we can understand that our sages saw it as a fundamental foundation of our entire existence to say…thank you, which, in essence, is what the farmer does when he brings his first-fruits to the Temple.

This fundamental of gratitude is, in the eyes of the Ramban, the very reason for the ENTIRE Torah and Jewish lifestyle:
וכוונת כל המצות שנאמין באלהינו ונודה אליו שהוא בראנו, והיא כוונת היצירה, שאין לנו טעם אחר ביצירה הראשונה, ואין אל עליון חפץ בתחתונים מלבד שידע האדם ויודה לאלהיו שבראו. (רמב”ן, שמות פרק י”ג /ט”ז)

The purpose of all the Mitzvot is that we believe that the Lord is our G-d, and thank him that he is our creator, and this is the purpose of the entire creation, as we have no other reason for the initial creation [of the world,] as G-d on high has no use for the ones below, except that man knows him and thanks him that he created him. (Ramban, Shemot 13/16.)

May we develop the ethic of never forgetting the very basis of life-saying Thank You, and properly expressing gratitude.

1. Heard orally from my Rebbe, Rav Aharon Rakeffet-Rothkoff many times via yutorah.org.
2. See in his name, for example, הררי קדם חלק ב,מאת הרב מיכל שורין, הקבלן 15/4 ירושלים, עמ’ רי”ט-ר”כ